Today is brought to you by the letter Y

See this:

It's a photo of Grover and Betty Lou embracing my labia the day after Buddy was born.  Yes, my labia transformed into a giant red foam letter Y.  They were the biggest things I have ever seen in my life.  And I had a C-section.  Imagine what they would've looked like if Bubs had stuck his head between them. 

Note the moss

I was not prepared for this.  The day after my C-section, I was able to take a shower - not an easy task, fyi.  I was sore, swollen, and hunched over like Quasimodo - and a shower felt great.  Until I walked past the mirror and saw this muppet staring back at me. 

Hey good lookin'!

It kind of reminded me of that silly face my dad used to make when I was a kid:

Nothing but lips, literally

Originally, I was going to file this under things people don't tell you, but I then realized that someone DID tell me this.  Clearly, and for good reason, I expelled it from memory.  A woman I love dearly and therefore will not name (you're welcome) shared with me her big vagina story.  The first time she wiped her vagine (a big day, as any new mother will tell you) she thought that her giant maxi pad got stuck to her cooch.  No.  It was not a maxi pad.  It was her giant, swollen, labia hanging down.  That's how big they get.

Don't worry, they go back down to normal.  I hope.  KIDDING!  They do.  Eventually.  No, seriously, it only took a few days to get back to my sexy, thin labia back: