Forever 21

My mother was 32 years old when she had me, her youngest (and best) child.  I am 32 and had my first (and best) child. 

I was 8 when my mom turned 40, so I remember it.  My dad turned 40 the same year (he's actually 1 month younger than my mom, but was in the hospital when she was born.  Figure that one out, y'all) and therefore, I remember that as well.

What's with all the math?  Math is stupid.  Math is stupid because when my dad turned 40, he played a hilarious joke on my mom.  You see, at 40, my parents were total brunettes, so as. a. joke. my dad put some gray hair dye near his temples.  You know, to really freak my mom out.  Cuz, to get gray hair at 40 with 3 kids is so unheard of it's crazy!

FUCK YOUYep.  32 with 1 child and 1 (formerly on my head) gray hair.  I thought the whole point of parenting was to provide a better life for your kids!  WTF! 

Because I am so confident, secure, and rational...

...this was not a problem for me.  I handled "the episode" with grace, nonchalance, and dignity.  And the F word.  Over and over and over and over and over again.

Then I immediately put on skinny jeans from Forever 21, a backless shirt, and 5 inch heels, went out for drinks at 10:00pm, had dinner at 11, followed by dancing and flirting with boys until 4am, and woke up at 8 feeling just fine. 

RealityAt least I still have my great legs!

Update on Thursday, June 13, 2013 at 9:17PM by Katie Miota

PS. I googled "going to bed early" to find a photo for this post, and THE. BEST. PHOTO. came up and it makes no sense and it is the best thing that may have ever happened to me:

Going to bed early =

Need I say more?