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Monday
Jun042012

I broke my f@%king ankle 

OK, well sprained it, but still... SO STUPID.  Immobility + cankle + big boobs + preggo = terrible.  What's the worst part, you ask? 

1. That using crutches requires use of your core muscles which are currently nonexistant slash housing a human life and therefore makes walking with them extremely difficult? 

2. The fact that I have to carry my purse around my neck like a horse?

3. How about the construction at work blocking the easily accessible & 10 feet from the parking lot entrance to my office, meaning I need to go around 3 buildings and a courtyard to get to the other entrance?

4. Maybe it's the need to sleep on my side yet keep my cankle straight and elevated?

[PS. I found this image by googling: sleeping like a pretzel. Awesome]

And the answer is.....

 

Doing all of the above, without drugs!! 

Holy shit do ankle sprains hurt.  I've sprained my ankle a few times before (duh, you've seen my shoes) and yes they hurt at first, but then you're fine.  News alert:  you're not fine.  Morphine = amazing at making you think you're fine. 

Disclaimer: I do NOT think the president is on morphine

Now time for some truth telling: I kinda deserved it.  No, I was not walking in my usual 5 inch heels - I stepped in a pothole at a park, wearing flats mind you - BUT... I think that seeing people fall is the funniest thing on earth.  C'mon, it is!  And just last week, hubby and I saw a great one.  A woman was walking down the sidewalk backwards, teaching her 18 month old to walk, and BOOM!  tripped on crack in the sidewalk and rolled onto her back, legs fully in the air.  It was great.  So, of course, I burst out laughing, cackling really.  I couldn't help it.  And then the next day, I reinacted the fall for several coworkers.  Over and over and over again.  Karma got me like a mutha fucka. 

And she was FINE, btw; I'm not a total asshole.

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Reader Comments (1)

your poor f&(*%ing ankle! take it easy, mama!

nd I love the doggie pretzel pose. so much! i can only hope I look that awesome while sleeping.
June 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

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