Mega Awesome Things

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Nosy Girl: All up in your olfactory business




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Shiiiit... you betta check yo'self

Bubs has his first teeth!  The two adorable little marshmallows just peering out over his little gum line = so super cute.  Except, they don't feel like marshmallows.  More like a great white shark. Yep. CHOMP!  Right on my nip.


I've heard from many breastfeeding mamas that when this happens for the first time, it is critical that you sternly and assertively inform your child (aka "yell at") that biting hurts like a bitch and this shit ain't gonna fly.  Which is so hard to imagine doing.  Yelling at your sweet little precious, perfect never-does-anything-wrong-even-when-he-won't-go-the-fuck-to-sleep-or-shits-up-his-back-or-whizzes-on-your-face-and-laughs-his-ass-off angel of a boy?  I don't know if I could do that....

Well believe me, I had no problem putting that boy in his place this morning.  It was an absolute, no thought required, gut reaction: "OOOWWWW! FUUUCK! BUBS!  DO. NOT. BITE. MAMA!  That hurts and it is NOT NICE"

The world's greatest mother, my idol, Mother Teresa (Giudice)

And then it happend.  The most horrifying look of complete and utter shock.  A silent, wide-eyed, mouth-agape-d stare, followed by the biggest real tears I've ever seen.  The tears flowed silently down his face until... wait for it... a wail among wails.  I literally broke my son's heart.

The second worse thing I could have done to him

So what did I do?  I said, "See.  Nothing is worse than hurting mommy.  From this point forward, live your life with only 1 rule, 1 goal: Make your mother happy."


I hope we're this attractive in 30 years



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